As the proud father of three wonderful children, the meaning of Father’s Day for me hasn’t changed, it’s just broadened. A tradition in our house is the handmade Father’s/Mother’s Day cards. Aside from being sweet gestures of love and appreciation, they will be tender keepsakes as our kids continue to grow. My wife spoils me and turns on the green light for me to make of the day what I choose. Even with all that, my thoughts on Father’s Day are not only my own thanks giving, but on the gifts that my father gave to me.

Like many men, I have been shaped by the male role models in my life, for better or worse. In addition to my dad, my grandfathers, uncles, older cousins, neighbors, coaches and friends all helped to shape me. Yet none is more significant than my father.  If you ask most people about my dad they’d describe him as quiet, kind and gentle. A 1957 medical school graduate of Wayne State University in Detroit, he was a self-made man who would ultimately become one of the finest ear, nose and throat specialists in the Upper Midwest.

Coincidentally, he encouraged me to not go into medicine for a variety of reasons. Beyond that, through his actions, he taught me that loyalty matters, that honesty is the greatest virtue and that men who speak least are sometimes the most trustworthy. He helped me understand that when you’re paid to do a job you work your hardest, regardless of the pay. He would say, if you want to figure out what you want to do with your life, go work on the assembly line for a summer, yet after college he also encouraged me to “live a little because you have your entire life to work” and be a ski bum for a year. He also believed that no one is inherently better, or worse, than anyone else.

Yet the Greek god Achilles had his heel, Apollo had the nymphs and my father was not without faults. Like most men my age or older, my father wasn’t quick to speak the words, “I love you,” but his love was always there. The voice of support, the pat on the back, words of encouragement when life was a struggle - all his way of displaying affection. He won a battle with alcoholism, enjoyed a delightfully unhealthy diet and ate candy as if he had no teeth for cavities!

My dad passed away on July 29, 2001 and I’ve thought about him every day since then. Mostly, they are passing thoughts and I often reflect on things he would say. I tell my kids stories about him and though they don’t always understand, they’re usually more for me than for them. So on Father’s Day, it’s my dad that I think about most and the amazing gifts he gave me over 35 years and the presence he continues to have in my life today.